Missing The Old James
by Words Are The Real Magic
Summary: James has changed drastically for Lily, and at first Lily is overjoyed, but is this really what she wants?


Missing the Old James

Lily stepped onto the train that would take her to Hogwarts for the very last time. She was sad this was her last year but excited at the prospects it held. This year she was made head girl, which had been her dream since her very first day at Hogwarts. All that was left was to find out who the head boy was, although she silently hoped that it would be Remus Lupin, one of her fellow prefects from the previous years, even if he was friends with what Lily saw as poor excuses for human beings, James Potter and Sirius Black.

The red haired girl made her way up to the end of the train to the Heads compartment. She took a deep breath, silently praying that Remus was in fact head boy and then walked into the compartment. She stopped dead. No it couldn't be true, could it? There sitting quietly by the window was none other than James Potter himself, and there on his chest was a head boy badge.

At the sound of the door opening, James' head snapped up from the book he was reading and his hazel eyes looked straight into Lily's green ones. However, unlike almost every other encounter Lily had previously had with James, he did not seem particularly interested in Lily's presence. He merely said "Good Morning" then went back to reading.

Lily found his behaviour quite odd and she didn't take the news of James being head boy too well either. It took her a moment to stop spluttering in the doorway. After she had recovered Lily Stupidly said, "What are you doing here, Potter?"

"I'm head boy," replied James in a voice that said I thought it was obvious.

"How could this have happened?" said Lily, more to herself than to James, although James did not seem to realise this and replied, "I guess Dumbledore thought I could handle the responsibility." He didn't say this with his usual air of cockiness and it threw Lily for a second, but she recovered quickly.

Lily snorted. "Yeah right, Dumbledore must be off his rocker to even consider that you could take even an ounce of responsibility."

James set his book down and looked up at Lily with his normally bright hazel eyes, and it wasn't until now that Lily realised something had changed, his eyes weren't as bright anymore. "Look Lily, I know that you are not particularly fond of me, but we have been made head boy and girl so I suggest that we at least try and get along. Deal?"

"Deal," said Lily

* * *

That was months ago now, and so much had changed. It didn't take Lily very long to realise what had changed to most though. It was James. What was once a crazy, fierce, loving, pranking, funny, popular boy had now turned into a sophisticated, smart, sensible, boring, and acting way beyond his years, man.

James no longer wore his robes sloppily, with his tie hanging loose around his neck and the first few buttons undone. He no longer wore his shirt untucked and his laces untied. His hair was tamed and his face clean shaven. He no longer wore his book bag carelessly thrown over one shoulder. He was never seen dirty, even though he still played Quidditch. He no longer looked like James Potter.

James had changed and at first Lily was overjoyed with the person he had become. She was so happy that she had actually agreed to go out with James, much to the surprise of everyone at Hogwarts. But something felt wrong and it wasn't until a few weeks into their relationship that Lily figured out what it was. She missed the old James. She missed the way his whole face would light up when he saw her, but now there was no longer a trace of lights in his face. She missed the way he was always doing crazy things, like pulling pranks and sneaking out after dark with his friends, he hadn't pulled a prank in months. She missed the way him and his friends were so close and happy together, but now they hardly ever spoke. She missed how he would get into crazy fights just to defend her honour, now he never noticed when people were rude to her. She missed how enthusiastic he would get, even over the smallest things, now he only ever seemed vaguely interested in things and only things that she liked. She missed how much he loved Quidditch, now he was only ever on the pitch when he absolutely had to be. But most of all she missed the way they use to be around each other, not that she particularly enjoyed the constant fighting, but there always seemed to be a fire burning between them, but now there was hardly a spark.

The new James was nice enough, but she missed the old James and she knew she wasn't the only one. Whenever she walked down the halls, people would glare at her as if the say 'this is all your fault, you're the reason he changed.' But the worst part was, she knew they were right. She knew that all the things that he had changed about himself were things that she had made a point of hating. She knew that she was the reason that he was no longer James Potter, but merely a ghost of who he used to be.

* * *

Lily was sitting in the Gryffindor common room with James. Everyone had gone up to bed by this point, they were left quite alone. Lily looked over at James who was finishing some transfiguration homework and sighed. James didn't even look up. Before, James would have immediately asked what was wrong, but now he acted as though he either didn't hear or didn't care. Lily was sick of this, she was sick of the new James. She wanted the old James back, the one who she only realised a little while ago that she loved.

"Uggg!"

James looked up but said nothing. Lily was now furious.

"James!" James just looked at Lily. "You know you're the most frustrating person alive, right?"

"I'm sorry Lily but I don't know what you are talking about. Do you care to explain?" James said sincerely.

"I just don't understand you. Why? Why did you feel the need to change everything about you?" Lily basically shouted

"Because, it's what you wanted," replied James calmly.

"No it's not James! I thought so too until I saw what you're like now. You're not you, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure it out, but I love the old you, the real you. The one who was funny and care free and loving and fierce and absolutely amazing. But I don't love what you have turned yourself into because of me and I don't think I can date you anymore if you continue to be like this. You don't even really look like you anymore, you look like the ghost of a happy person, the person that used to be James. There used to be a flame between us, but now I'm not even sure if there is a spark anymore. Everyone at Hogwarts misses you. Your friends miss you and if you don't start acting normal soon, I don't think you'll be able to call them friends for much longer. I'm sick of the new James and I refuse to talk to you until the old James is back!" and with that Lily left a stunned James and basically ran to her dormitory.

* * *

It was the next morning and Lily was sitting alone at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. There was chatter going on around Lily but she wasn't listening. She was wrapped up in thought about the night before. Suddenly the room went completely silent, which greatly confused Lily. She looked up to find the source of the stillness that had captured the great hall, and that was when her eyes fell on James Potter. The real James Potter.

He was in the doorway to the great hall, along with the rest of the marauders. His tie was loose and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone. His hair was messy and his book bag was haphazardly swung over one shoulder. His laces were undone and there was a small amount of stubble on his chin. His beautiful hazel eyes were bright and happy and his lips sported a playful grin. James Potter was back.

Lily couldn't believe her eyes. He had listened to her and now he was back to the old James, the one she loved. Lily slowly stood up and all eyes in the still silent room were suddenly on her. Everyone was looking at her as if she was about to get angry at James for being himself again, because they didn't know it was her that had persuaded him to be him again.

"James?" Lily simply asked. James just grinned at her nervously and ran a hand through his hair, something he hadn't done it months.

"It really is you James!" and before he could say anything Lily had run at him and quite literally jumped him. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she smashed their lips together. There was raw love and passion in that kiss, something that had never been in their kisses when James had changed.

They finally broke apart to the sound of cheering from the entire school, even the teachers were joining in. for everyone could see that they truly loved each other for who they really were and not what one of them had changed to be.

Lily was still in James' arms when she said, "I love you James, the real you."

"I love you too Lily, and I'm glad to be back."

 **Author's Note**

I`m thinking of rewriting this and making it longer, but may not be able to get around to it for a while. It'll still be the same story, just more detailed :)


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